ASexuality

04/18/2025

In a world obsessed with the notion of SEX, what happens when you just don’t want it, when you don’t feel it? Are you normal? Is something wrong? YES! You are normal, and NO there is nothing wrong with you! Let’s talk about ACE!

Asexuality, abbreviated as ace, is a valid and diverse sexual orientation in which a person experiences little or no sexual attraction to others. But like all aspects of human identity, it exists on a spectrum!

At its core, asexuality is a sexual orientation where a person doesn’t experience sexual attraction to others. It’s by no means the same as abstinence or celibacy (those are choices about behavior), and it doesn’t mean a person doesn’t experience romantic love, desire for connection, or even physical affection.

ASexuality, and related identities such as greysexuality, demisexuality, and Aegosexuality, are not disorders! They are orientations!

Wait wait wait? Greysexual? Demisexual? Aegowhatnow? What are those? Well, like all human experiences, sexuality is on a spectrum, and a part of that spectrum includes the ACE family. Asexuality isn't a one-size-fits-all identity after all! Many people fall under the asexual spectrum, also known as the ace spectrum (ace-spec), which includes a range of experiences related to sexual attraction.

Asexuals: experience little or no sexual attraction to others

Greysexuals: experience sexual attraction rarely, under specific circumstances, or with low intensity

Demisexuals: experience sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection with someone.

Aegosexuals: may enjoy thinking or fantasizing about sexual scenarios but don’t desire actual sexual involvement themselves.

Now let’s get more complicated! Everything mentioned above is SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Now lets talk ROMANTIC orientations. Oh yeah, we can get lovey-dovey in all sorts of ways! Because ACE is about sexual desire and not romantic desire, separating the two is important for the ACE community. Here are some examples of various romantic orientations:

  1. Aromantic – Doesn’t experience romantic attraction

  2. Homoromantic – Romantic attraction to the same gender

  3. Biromantic – Romantic attraction to more than one gender

  4. Panromantic – Romantic attraction regardless of gender

  5. Demiromantic – Romantic attraction only after deep emotional connection

FYI, you can be a sexual being and still use these! An example could be “Hi, I’m a bisexual cisgender woman who is homoromantic.” This would be an AFAB stating they are romantically attracted to women but sexually attracted to both genders! Sexuality can be complicated, but FUN to learn!

So remember, class:

  1. Asexuality isn’t a phase, it isn’t a “oh you just haven’t met the right person” type of deal!

  2. Asexuality is NOT rooted in trauma. You may be ASexual and you may have trauma, but one did not cause the other

  3. ASexuals are capable of love and relationships just as much as our sexual friends

  4. Asexuality is a vastly underrepresented group! Visibility in media, education, and social conversations matters!